A Secret Fantasy
by ImagineWriteCreate
Summary: Sirius ponders of his relationship with Bellatrix. What happens when she overhears him and James talking about her? Does she feel the same way, or will it remain a simple fantasy? Warning: mild blackcest, SBBL. Rated T, just to be sure.
1. Sirius ponders

Disclaimer: I don't own anything from this story except the plot. If I would own Harry Potter, Ginny and Draco would've been together since book three and Tom would have remained alive. Same for Sirius.

So I kind of like you...

Not because you're my cousin, no! I hate you for that. But because you are rather attractive.

Does that scare you?

It scares me.

But does it scare you?

Do you find it scary that I look at you in the Great Hall? That I watch you talk with your friends? Do you find it scary that I watch you when you eat?

That I watch you all the time?

Do you?

Do you find it scary that I would think of you when kissing another girl?

Do you find it scary that I would think of how would you look like making love with me?

Do you?!

I hope you do, because if it wouldn't scare you I'd continue watching you, thinking about you, and then maybe do things I imagine I do with you for real.

But you hate me. You hate me ever since I've ran away.

And I hate you. I hate you because you're not what I thought you would be.

... But we'd look gorgeous together.

Not even you can deny that, can you?

Instead of a reponse, I hear myself sigh.

Oh, I hope you will never find out about this. About my thoughts and feelings.

Because if you would know, you would laugh.

At me.

Or maybe kill me.

I know it's wrong, but...

But I cant help but love the way you smile...

Oh, that's right, you don't smile don't you?

You smirk.

I can't believe it but I love it more than a smile.

You're arrogant too. Of course, if you wouldn't be perhaps you would manage a smile but that's not the point. I find it attractive.

And oh, I have to agree with most of the wizards in Hogwarts in thinking that you're gorgeous and that you would be great in bed.

Not that I would know.

I mean – in all of the years we've been living together I've barely touched you with my finger.

Except for that night, that single night when it was raining. When you've told me that you were afraid of it and when I've held you in my arms all night long.

But that about six years ago when we still were friends, when you weren't so obsessed about blood lines – and yes, I still remember.

And you know what? I think you do too.

Because sometimes...sometimes, I notice you gazing at me too, out of the corner of my eye, when you think I won't notice.

Like you remember the good times we had together.

Like, as me, a part of you wants them to come back.

And I'm too afraid that you'll look away to return your gaze.

So I just wonder...what you're thinking. ...What it's like to be you.

After all, I would have been the same if I wouldn't have chose to rebel.

I suppose that's another reason why we'd make such a good couple. Beyond appearances.

I'm not just a handsome, rebellious boy. You're not just another hormonal girl nor are you sweet, kind or considerate.

It would be quite refreshing.

Our relationship.

That is if we ever got together.

I suppose if we were ever a couple, we'd have to hide it.

Cousins aren't supposed to like each other in that way.

So not many would accept our relationship.

I'm not even sure if James would.

He'd probably have a heart attack. Remus and Peter, too.

But even as we don't belong together, we'd still look good together. You know it.

Besides, I've always wanted to do something different, and I don't suppose many people date their cousin.

Then again, you've always wanted (even if you would never admit it) to be just like them, yet to be the best of them.

So you would never date me, Sirius Black, your cousin.

You ignore me, mostly.

Do you even now I'm still here?

Of course you do.

You just wouldn't admit it.

No.

Bellatrix Black (why do you let Rodolphus call you Bella and not me?), a Slytherin, would never admit to have a Gryffindor cousin.

Of course, you didn't have a problem with Gryffindors before.

Generations of Blacks were in Gryffindor.

But now that Muggle borns tend to get sorted in here and not in Slytherin-- well, it's different.

That wasn't the point though.

Just like the snake and the lion, we are different.

Perhaps a bit too different, don't you think?

But what if...

What if we just ignored all of that?

All those reasons why we shouldn't be together.

We would be brilliant.

We would be the best.

It's never going to happen though. So the whole me fancying you...is just...well, it's just a temporary thing I'll have to get over.

Honestly, we'd never be a couple...

After all, I'm the blood-traitor and you're the one that wants to keep our blood pure (Perhaps I do too, but I don't believe extreme measures are necessar.).

Maybe...maybe in the next lifetime (Now look what you've done! You make me believe in all sort of things!) this will all work out.

But for now...it's just a fantasy; my secret fantasy.

A/N: Well, it's my first Sirius/Bellatrix fanfic. The first one I've published too. Reviews are most welcome, and if you would like me to, I could make a second part in which Bellatrix ponders and then maybe a third one in which they meet and tell each other what they really feel.

Edit: I've edited to correct some grammar mistakes and some that didn't sound very good. No one beta-ed it, so it still has some major faults, I believe. It's about Sirius rambling, I know, but I felt I needed to edit some things. Also, many, many thanks to my three reviewers! You guys encouraged me to start the second part, I'm just too worried that I could not write Bella in character. (Did I even wrote Sirius in character? If not, please, do tell what mistakes I made and how I could correct them.) Oh, and did you get the first part? The one with „I like you but not because you're my cousin.". I meant that Sirius does not like Bellatrix the way cousins should. That's all.

And uh, a review a day keeps Voldemort away. Hinthint


	2. What did Bellatrix hear?

**Disclaimer:** Have you read about Sirius and Bellatrix getting together? No. Then its obvious I don't own Harry Potter or anything related.

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I sat down on the cold rock, and only then did I let out the breath I had been holding.

Is it true, Sirius?

It is!

You've just told James Potter that you like me and that nobody else could ever know, but I heard you.

I know.

It makes me giggle worse than that Mudblood did when you --

That is not of importance.

What is, is that you like me.

Your own cousin.

I wouldn't think you would sink this low.

Perhaps I would too.

I know you're worth it, even if you don't associate with the best of us.

The best of wizards.

And yes, it may not do me good.

It may be a waste time, but...

... I would like to try.

If you ever get the courage to tell me.

Just the idea of it makes me giggle and--

Some Ravenclaw first years look at me weirdly.

Like they haven't seen a girl giggling of her own before.

Really, if they only knew...

So that's what you are thinking when you are looking at me from across the hall.

That weren't feelings of hate in your eyes, no.

It was something else.

Perhaps love.

Perhaps not.

It is a bit too much to request.

But you have to admit-- the though of us as a couple is amusing, slightly disturbing yet... tempting.

It could be like a challenge.

We could try, but it would still end up the worst.

Or we could find out that we truly are right for each other-- Ha!

It would never be like that.

You chose Mudbloods, half-bloods and Muggle lovers over me, over the rest of the family.

Unless you change your mind...

... and only if I choose to forgive you...

... only then could we try.

I'll content myself and remain 'your secret fantasy'.

At least for now.

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**A/N:** There it is! The second chapter.(I apologize if it is too short, but I didn't believe Bella will dwell much too long on her relationship with Sirius.)I have to admit, I was rather nervous writing it, and I still am. Its from Bellas' point of view, in case you couldn't tell and I am worried she isn't very much in character. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it and I wanted to thank you if you have reviewed (supertackle!glomps to Artemis Wilde, ghost in the fog and Quick like bunnies for

reviewing) or if you think of doing so. Hinthint.

If you would like me to, I will start chapter three, the one in which they tell each other what they feel and – Well, you don't want me ruining it for you, do you?


	3. The meeting

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Harry Potter or anything related. Really, that should be obvious.

Never in her life had Bellatrix wished she were another person.

But there's a first time for everything.

„...Hullo?"

And never in her life had she seen Sirius that nervous.

Although not as nervous as Longbottom in potions class, Bellatrix still was sure this was as nervous as Sirius could ever be.

„Hello."

She decided it was best to act polite.

„Listen," he said, running a hand through his hair. „It's not my fault that we are in here, so we ought to--"

„It is your fault Black, not mine. I do not have friends that lock me in random chambers with the first person they see."

„Bellatrix, we are not here to have another argument."

„What _am_ I doing here then?"

„Do you have your wand?"

„Answer my question."

„Do.you.have.your.wand?" said Sirius, this time through gritted teeth.

„No. Do _you_ have yours?"

„No!"

„Well then. Unless your friend decides I have spend enough time with you, I will have to find a way out."

„Unless I figure it out first."

„That will never happen. Now shush and let me think!"

„I am brighter than you. My star is to shine brighter than yours."

It was his usual reply when she would insult him, Bellatrix remembered. Ever since they were old enough to study Astronomy, Sirius learned that the star he was named after was to shine brighter than Bellatrixs' star.

„Yes. You shine with foolishness and these crazy ideas you're just going to fall right out of the sky. And when you will, I will laugh at you because I knew it was going to happen."

And ever since then, it would be her reply.

Grinning, Sirius sat down on one of the many old chairs.

„Perhaps you wouldn't look as foolish if you wouldn't grin as much."

„Perhaps you would look even better if you could manage a smile."

„Excuse me?"

„What is it, Bella? Having problems hearing, are we?"

„Why, you-- Don't call me Bella."

„Lestrange does."

„Go set yourself on fire, why don't you?"

„And break so many hearts? I'd rather not die, thank you."

„You are an arrogant brat--"

„We do have a lot in common, don't we?"

„Aurgh!"

And with that, she launched herself on him and starting punching, kicking and slapping him.

„Ow! Ow, ow, ow, ow!"

„You're lucky I don't have my wand, Black. You would have been dead."

She could barely finish her phrase that Sirius took control, rolled her over on the floor so that he was standing on her and started kissing her. An intense, controlling kiss, a kiss that proved her just how much he needed her. The type of kiss she wanted.

And then they started shagging, followed by some more shagging and some more...

Bellatrix was glad that she found out about Siriuss' fantasy...

... and vowed to make sure she would be involved in the next one too.

**A/N:** Voila! Here is the final chapter of the JaF (Just a Fantasy) series. First of all, I would like to thank all of my reviewers of which I would have not continued without. Second, I would like to apologize if you have found this chapter too short or if you did not like it; I am beginner and I tried to do as much as I could. crossed fingers and hopes that the characters are as in character as she can write them

Now, would you please review, tell me what you liked and what you did not and maybe give me some ideas for other S/B stories? The world needs more of them, you know!

P.S.- I do not take credit for the whole "My star shines brighter than yours" thing. It was my friend who gave me the idea and, knowing her, it probably isn't her idea at all. So if you know of it, please tell me so that I can give credit where credit is due.


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